Perspective Shift

When you hear the word addiction, the first thought that comes to mind is probably a junkie shooting up, or someone living their life at the bottom of there particular bottle of choice. If this is the case then you aren't alone. The majority of people perceive addiction as an urge or compulsion to continuously do or use something without regard for their well being, or the well being of people close to them. Though this is true, this is not where addiction ends, or begins. The true nature of addiction stretches far beyond the pills, needles, and bottles. Addiction can and does strike millions of people in the one place they thought they were safe. Their minds.

At First Glance

That current adopted belief as it applies to addiction is definitely not new. It's also something we see on a daily basis in movies, cartoons, books, and even children's shows (the Hamburgler, Cookie Monster, etc...). The truth is, there are over 22 million people suffering from some form of substance addiction or another in the United States alone. Over 100,000 deaths a year accumulate just from alcoholism related accidents. These numbers are enough to scare any person straight right? Unfortunately not. As time moves forward overall addiction is not decreasing. Younger kids are able to get their hands on drugs from medicine cabinets, and even school supplies. Huffing has become one of the major drug issues in suburban America.

To combat these issues we constantly hear about "The War On Drugs." Well, this isn't a myth as far as I'm aware. Over $19 Billion dollars was spent to combat the distribution and use of drugs in 2003. That equates to $600 a second! Despite this, the drug market continues to be a multi-billion dollar industry. In fact, the value for the global illicit drug market in 2003 was counted at an estimated $13 billion US Dollars at the production level, and $94 billion at the wholesale level. This is taking into consideration all seizures and losses into account, and at $322 billion based on retail prices.

So, it's safe to say that the war on drugs is not being won on either side of the equation. So how to we combat this issue? Awareness. It takes an awareness and constant education to the youth to truly put a damper on the drug issues we face. With more and more substances being consumed to reach that desired state of euphoria, it's our job to educate the youth and our peers about the dangers of these drugs. As parents, monitoring what your children are watching, and reading is crucial. On top of this, beginning to educate them at a young age, and potentially before YOU believe they are ready to hear it, can have a monumental impact on slowing this growing trend down.

All this aside, there are still a number of issues we have to face as a community. These issues are not coming from the things we are putting into our bodies, but our lack of awareness to our own thoughts. The major addictions we face are instilled within our own thought processes, and it is most of the time overlooked or pushed to the side. We all suffer from some form of addiction or another, and many of us don't even realize it.

The Nature of Addictive Personalities

Understanding that addiction is a real issue is the first step. The second is understanding that addiction it self is not limited to substance abuse. It is a common belief that many addicts use to escape their current reality. When you are in that state of euphoria the real world issues no longer affect the person using. They feel free, and absent. Once this high comes down, they realize that not only are they still living in the "real world," but they still have to deal with these issues like stress, finances, school work, relationships, etc... So they use again. We see this process continue and repeat until the person in question no longer has any bearing in our daily lives. They fall away from the work force, end up homeless, or dead.

Stopping these issues has to come not from reducing the availability of drugs (couldn't hurt) but from tackling the psychological issues they don't even know they have. How do we do this? By first realizing that the possible junkie in the subway, or the alcoholic begging for change on the corner is not a stranger. They are you. Quite possibly, perhaps not to that extent, but the truth is that we ALL have with us the nature to become addicted to one thing or another. For some this unseen addiction is stress. For others, turmoil, fear, depression, even happiness. We have personality faults that forbid us from realizing this, and because of it we constantly fail because these addictions impede our view on reality.

If someone is complete and utterly addicted to that feeling of blissful happiness, we may see them completely ignore the very real emotional urge to cry. Instead, they may smile and laugh it off. Well, this may seem completely fine and encouraged, but the act of crying to expel feelings of sadness is completely human. Eliminating this from our lives can have terrible psychological affects that lead to therapy, denial, and even an inability to show sympathy. Understanding that we all possess with us an addiction like this is definitely not the easiest task. I personally discovered that I was innately addicted to being angry.

I grew up in a rather bouncy household (to put it nicely). My father left when I was young and popped in randomly, he was addicted to heroine and alocohol, and when I turned 12 my mother fell victim to alcoholism in a horrible way. This addiction continued well into my college years and she is currently recovering. The situations these issues put me in were harsh, and to deal with my own feelings of resentment, sorrow, and depression, I turned to anger. I was angry all of the time, even if something was completely fine I would find irritants in nothing, just for an excuse to yell, to scream, and to take my anger out in a rage on a punching bag.

All the meditation in the world wouldn't help me. Why? Because I had no idea that I was addicted to this! No body told me, sat me down and let me know that "Chris, I believe you have an anger problem" and realistically, if they did would I listen? I can almost guarantee you that I wouldn't. Truth is, we need to uncover these issues for ourselves. Getting someone to help us can be of great assistance, but unless we are consciously prepared to hear another persons criticism, and make the changes we need to make, all the advice in the world will become irrelevant.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking this horrible cycle of growing into these personal addictions which can sometimes lead to serious life issues needs to begin with a single step. That step being acceptance. No body is perfect in our world today, and understanding that you have faults is step one. I don't mean just saying "yeah I'm not perfect, I know that," I mean literally sitting down and consciously naming your faults with no prejudice. I often recommend utilizing a method offered within the Soul Mirror for this step.

It can be somewhat time consuming, even upsetting to do this, but it can have a profound impact on your life. It can bring so much clarity into an otherwise overlooked area of your life it's completely worth the work. After you have completed this, you need to take one step at a time to tackle these issues. If you were otherwise afraid of crying, try to cry at least once a week, once a month to start if you need to. I'm not saying you need to sit there and boohoo, crying into a pillow and screaming to the top of your lungs (not unless you want to), but consciously crying can have amazing positive affects on your life.

The same goes for any other issue you may be facing. If you are just prone to a lack of patience, then take steps to developing patience. If you are angry, calm your self. Learn how to walk away from situations that set you off, and if you cannot avoid them take time to think and breathe before you speak or act. I never said it was an easy process, but it's one you will value and appreciate taking for the rest of your life. One more vital component in stopping this horrible cycle is telling your peers. Let your peers know the dangers of ignoring your faults and dismissing your own issues. Let them know what kind of harmful affects it can have you their lives. I don't mean for you to blame yourself for every thing that goes wrong in your life. Just don't let yourself not take accountability for the things you can consciously work to change for the better. It may take some time, but just work at it. We all need to, and we're all in this together. So with that, I'll see you on the other side :).

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. ~Unknown

The power of words spreads far beyond that of communication. The term "speaking it into existence" is one that never seems to lose it's strength. Many times we fail to see just how powerful our words can be on another person, or even on ourselves. Our words tend to echo our thoughts, but just as important as what we say, is our intentions behind what we say. Saying "I love you" for instance is a significant and very meaningful phrase. If you use those same words, yet you clearly have negative intentions and feelings towards that person then those feelings shine through. Perhaps not the best example, considering some use that phrase as if it had no meaning, and others don't realize what's going on, or choose not to. The meaning, however, remains. What you say is significant, but how you say it and what you're reasons for using the words make a difference.

An affirmation is a statement, or judgment that you declare as being true, therefore telling yourself over and over again that "I am a beautiful, successful person" without truly meaning it won't have the same affect as if you fully meant what you said. Or will it? I hope to dive into the subject of affirmations head first and hopefully we can not only discover the effectiveness of using them, but useful situations and techniques for using them.

The Power of Words

Though when discussing traditional communication only 7% is ruled by what you say, 38% being how you say it (your tone) and 55% of which is body language, the actual words we use carry with them deeper meanings then we often consider. For instance, the word "hate" in it of itself essentially personifies negativity. We fail to consider this when we use "hate" in a sentence that rings with intended positivity such as: "I hate how they treat their children," or "I hate not finishing something I start." These sentences originally have positive intentions and observing these intents and how we communicated them can teach us a lot.

The first sentence is positive, or at least in this example it's positive, considering it can be seen either way. We can assume that whoever said it is speaking on behalf of some innocent, mistreated children who are either being abused or neglected. By saying that you "hate" how they are being treated, within you, you are making a judgment that they should be treated better. Clearly this is out of sympathy for the children, as their situation has no direct relation to yourself (in this example).

The second sentence in our example is being used by an individual who is clearly struggling with an issue of no follow through. Beginning a task and never completing it is a terrible habit for anybody. By saying you "hate" it in this way is indicating that it's disliked and the individual would rather it be the opposite.

Where both of these individuals went wrong is in their selection of words. In using the word hate we are placing ourselves and innocent children into a category they do not belong. The term hate has been used for centuries in extremely negative situations. When we think hate, we think of something that we despise so intensely we would rather be without it. Though this may be how we THINK we are feeling about our situations, that we HATE them, using such a strongly negative word does nothing beneficial for us beyond that of promoting more negativity. So in our intentions of bringing positive change to ourselves and for the children, we in essence brought negative energies into situations whereby we only meant for positivity to reign.

There was once a highly controversial study done on the effects of speech on water crystals by Dr. Masaru Emoto. Despite the many feelings on the matter, what he found reigns true in our discussion. He learned that the effects of negative intents and speech directed towards water drastically altered the crystals' structure. The same is true for positivity, however the alterations were substantially different. All of the water crystals where negative intents, words, music, and the like were used turned out to be quite unattractive at best. On the other hand, the crystals where kind, loving, heart felt intentions and words were used had extremely attractive crystal formations.

How we feel about ourselves and others has an affect on them. For a more tangible example, look at the kids in school who were bullied or are being bullied today. Confidence and self esteem on these children are often really low. It's fairly obvious to see the relationship between words and emotions. We know now that emotional stability largely affects your actions in life. A strong willed, confident and driven individual is more likely to strive for personal greatness than a depressed, unsure, insecure one. The quality of life then is highly affected based on this. So bringing it home, how you speak to those around you, or speak about yourself will have a major change in that person be it on the surface or within them, subconsciously. Thinking before we speak is one of the most important things we can do to ensure we don't damage other people in the long run. This doesn't, however, change how we are affecting ourselves, which brings us to our next topic.

The Power of Intent

Do you remember being a kid and being told no by someone for some reason or another? There are those who would probably just rebel, but then there are the others who suck it up, grit their teeth and obey. Either way, later on many of those same emotions are lingering and we tend to put on a facade and play nice, even though we really want to strangle whoever it is that attempted to, or denied our childhood pleasures. It brings up the old saying "mean what you say, say what you mean." When we don't particularly want to hurt another persons feelings we may say things that we in reality don't mean. But what exactly do our intentions have to do with anything? I mean, if we say something nice even though we are thinking mean or hurtful things, what does it matter?

Well that is a good question, but using the foundation the Law of Attraction gives us, we realize that thoughts will vibrate outwards regardless of the words we speak. The more negativity we think, the more we get back. Looking at this from a spiritual stand point we can observe the trickle down affect many are aware of through things like hermetic science. Or taking a purely psychological stand point we still see this being true. How you think ultimately affects your actions whether you believe it or not. If you constantly think of failure, loss, stress, and the like, then it's almost inevitable that you will create that within' yourself.

So with this in hand we can see the affects of speaking to someone using positive words, but having negative intentions. It's the same way as saying F*** *** to someone with a smile on your face. Clearly the smile is there, suggesting you are happy and in a good mood, but the words you say still may offend whoever you are talking to in a negative way, simply due to the negative connotations associated with the words used. So regardless if the person you are speaking, or thinking to/of is aware of your intentions, you are still directing negative thoughts towards that individual or yourself, and unless you are trying to use affirmations in a negative way, this will have an adverse affect on your practice.

Many practitioners of Magic(k) are also very well aware of the importance of intent. The use of "spells" and the like are in reality not governed by the actual words being said more often than not. It is more so dictated by the intent behind the words being said. The belief that specific words will be effective in bringing about change is the very driving force behind creating that change.

Beginning Affirmation Work

The actual use of affirmations is a lot more simple than people make it out to be. In short, it's repeating a word or phrase of meaning to change something about yourself for the better. Originally I was just going to detail how to use them, but I think breaking them into two categories is even more effective. We can use affirmations in two ways, there are more but the major two are for a goal or change within yourself you are pursuing, and the other are self affirming, or esteem building affirmations.

To begin with let's explore goal oriented affirmations. A simple affirmation in this case could be:

I Will Be Successful

This is an affirmation in it's simplest form. Our goal is to become successful. So without leaving room for doubt or question we repeat that I will be successful. More can be added to this affirmation for a more specific goal, such as I will be successful in my new job. The basic goal here is to change your method of thinking from fear, doubt, or uncertainty to confidence in your self and your potential. The more this affirmation is used the more you will begin to act accordingly to ensure it's success. Using affirmations such as this are something you should make a regular habit of.

Building Confidence In Yourself

Even if you are the most confident individual in the world, using these affirmations are incredibly helpful to your success in anything you pursue. They help shape the way you think of yourself, and the least amount of negativity you associate with yourself the better off you will be. Examples of these forms of affirmations are:

I am strong.
I am handsome.
I will be successful.
I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

Using "I will" and "I can" put a lot of emphasis on your affirmations. Going through and doing this is a great method for self betterment. It is confidence building and important. If you feel uncomfortable doing it than this is probably exactly what you need to be doing.

Effectively Using Affirmations

At this point we basically know what an affirmation is, and some different forms of them. Using this knowledge is where it begins to get interesting. Here are some major tips you should consider if you are looking to make affirmations a part of your daily activities.

1. Repeat It Often - every morning, when you look in the mirror, when you have free time, or any instance it comes to mind, say your affirmation out loud. The more you say it the more of a habit it becomes. These habits eventually change your thought process and that is exactly what you want. As opposed to thinking negatively you will eventually begin thinking of things in the positive sense. As opposed to making complaints you will notice yourself working to make changes that will benefit you.

2. Write it down - write down all of your affirmations. This makes the information stick and can be visible at various times of the day to remind yourself. Keep a notebook, journal, saved file on the computer, or whatever other means you want to use and write down your affirmations often. The more visible the better.

3. Meditate - meditating on your affirmations is another excellent method to continue to make them effective. You can either chant the affirmation as if it were a mantra repeatedly out loud or internally while keeping in mind the intent behind the words. Or you can just focus on the intent behind the affirmation. Do whatever you are most comfortable with, or both.

I recently came across an excellent article online at Peaceful Prosperity discussing Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), Energy, and the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT. It is a method of utilizing affirmations by means of a mudra (hand gestures used to aid in meditation) and meditation. It's a highly intriguing method and one I actually didn't even know about. The specific mudra taught was different from ones I had used during traditional ki meditations and therefore interested me. I haven't used this method yet, personally, but plan on experimenting with it to see the difference it makes. I would suggest you check it out as well: A Little More On TCM, Energy, and EFT

4. Visualization - creative visualizations are extremely useful for helping with your affirmations. If you visualize the goal of your affirmation, or rather it's success it can have a huge impact. I would suggest visualizing from a first person perspective. For instance, if you're affirmation is that "I will do 10 pull-ups straight by the end of the month." Then visualizing yourself actually doing pull-ups can have a significant affect on your end results.

5. Leave Reminders - using post it notes, having a piece of paper in your wallet, having a screen saver, or anything similar with your affirmations written on it can be very helpful. The entire idea is to change the way you think to improve your quality of life or help you reach a goal, being reminded of your affirmations on a regular basis will only cement the ideas, goals, or drive within' you to be successful.

6. Sigilization - a Sigil is actually a tool used primarily within "Chaos Magic(k)," but it is also used in various other spiritual pursuits as a meditation aid. For our case it's a great tool to use along with our affirmations. By breaking up a specific affirmation into a shorter word or phrase we can use it in repetition along with the intent behind it to aid in meditations or focus on the end result. To create a sigil you first need to take the affirmation. Using the original affirmation of "I will be successful" we first need to break this down by removing any repeated letters. This will give us: I wl be sucf. Now you rearrange the letters to make an easier pronounced phrase: Iwl Bescuf. This is now manageable to repeat out loud or internally. From here all you need to do is focus on the intent of the sigil, that being the original affirmation. This is one of my favorite methods.

Final Tips

Using affirmations can have an extremely significant positive affect on your life. Using "I will" and "I can" statements are extremely useful in affirming what you mean. Making the changes you want to are possible and within your grasp. It is all up to you in the end and how much work you are willing to commit to change. Using a tape recorder and playing back your affirmations may increase their potency as well. Don't forget that these exercises and techniques for utilizing affirmations are only a few I have personally worked with. There are many more floating around out there on both the internet and within books.

The most basic and very effective method you can use is to just write it down and repeat/remind yourself of the affirmations. I would suggest that along with using affirmations you pick one trait daily to work on improving. Not to be cliche, but Roam wasn't built in a day, and neither will your personal changes. Never give up and even if you feel over whelmed you can get to your desired goal, it just starts with you taking the first step. Also, in the worlds of Albert Einstein, always remember that "problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them." Change is a must and almost inevitable, so taking it into your own hands and ensuring that change is positive is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

"If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent." -Isaac Newton

Today, we live in a world not only filled with, but ran and maintained by means of high speed computers, instant messaging, text messaging, the internet as a whole, and the many other mobile communication devices we see used on a regular basis that make communication and transactions almost instant. Within this society, patience is something we often take for granted. It's a subject we never really have to put much thought into due to the amount of instant gratification we have become accustomed to receiving. We are made to believe that there is always a better, faster way of getting something done, be that dieting, making money, commuting, etc... Unfortunately, we all too commonly realize that these forms of instant gratification, aren't really all that instant, or effective. Instead, we hop from one quick fix remedy to another and cross our fingers, hoping that the next method we utilize will be more effective than the last.

This just isn't practical, and everyone knows that feeling of just wanting to scream and pull out your hair because something isn't working fast enough. People far too commonly quit something all together, as opposed to putting in the work and sitting patiently to reap the benefits of their actions. This creates unnecessary feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, and doubtful, that you can avoid all together by developing and strengthening your level of patience.

But wait... What in tarnations is this oh so mysterious thing called patience? Websters would describe patience as "bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint" or "being steadfast despite opposition difficulty or adversity." Realistically though, I feel there are multiple levels of patience we should acknowledge, and knowing when to act and when not to is just as important as possessing the ability to sit, content, where others would panic.

Patience... Or Lack Thereof

Financial stress is taking claim of individuals and households on a daily basis. The strain of the economy on many of us average citizens is almost unbearable at times. This stress, of not knowing what to do, where to turn, how to react, coped with those bill collectors calling and the feeling of being pulled in every direction but the right one is enough to make you pull out your hair or turn Grey, hop on your horse and ride off into the sunset waving a staff and claiming that your name is now Gandalf the Grey. This might be an effective method of stress relief, although the masses would probably call it a psychotic break, and this example may be mildly humorous, but it personifies a very real and dangerous event that many suffer from (Gandalf aside).

Many would ask "what does patience have to do with this?" Or "how is being patient going to help my problems?" The simple answer is that it probably won't, but it will offer you a viable method to remain clear and level headed so that you can manage your stress, and other issues you may be facing effectively, as opposed to panicking and making decisions out of fear that you later regret.

I suppose you get the picture by now, but if not I'll rephrase. Patience is important, without learning to be patient you open yourself up to stress, negative situations, and even desperation; none of which are positions you want to be placed in. They are all avoidable and a clear mind functions much better when it comes to problem solving than one clouded by fear, uncertainty, and frustration. So, now here comes the icing on the cake. How do we develop patience?

Understanding Patience

I put the idea of patience into three categories. I haven't seen this around and even attempted searching for it for some aided resources but was unable to find anything remotely similar to it. The idea I had behind placing patience into categories was to first help myself develop patience to a greater extent, and later help others to do the same. Tackling an issue one step at a time is the best way to accomplish something. As the old saying goes, walking a mile begins with a single step.

These categories are acting, waiting, and watching. Together they encompass patience in it's entirety, but individually help those eager to develop patience to understand and observe themselves in a helpful way.

Acting - Let's assume that you have an unpaid bill and don't have the money to pay it at the moment. You can choose to ignore the calls of the bill collectors or rather, try to find a method of coming up with the money or a strategy to acquire it and pay off the bill in a timely fashion. Action is required to not procrastinate or hope the issue goes away, when in reality it won't. In this instance you would talk to the people who you owe, and with a plan in hand you will work towards that goal without changing. From here you can do nothing but what you planned on doing, and as long as you stick to your plan you will be successful. There is no need to be stressed, or overly worried and unsure if you are sticking to it. Patience comes into play when you realize that all you can do is what you're doing, that being working towards a solution. This involves any topic, not just financial means. School, sports, dieting, meditation, etc... They are all things that typically involve goals. Making a plan and sticking to it is the best way to accomplish those goals.

Waiting - Waiting can even be broken down further into it's own categories, however it in essence is when you cannot do anything else. There was an instance when I needed a refund check given to me by my university. I needed it to get housing for the semester but was unable to get it myself. I had to rely on someone else to not only ensure they didn't throw it away when it came in the mail, but for them to receive it, and send it to me in a timely fashion. This is a situation when I have absolutely no control other than my informing the individuals who needed to be informed. In this instance all I can do is my part, followed by waiting for the outcome. At this point, letting go and waiting for the situation to transpire is all you can do, as opposed to me biting my nails and thinking negatively without end.

Watching - This comes to me from Mindfulness Meditation practices. When practicing you are taught to "watch" your life from almost a third party seat. As you walk, you watch, notice, and observe your feet hitting the ground, legs moving, how your body feels, the environment, etc... The same is applied to patience. When you take a step back from your current situation and just watch it unfold it requires a high level of patience to accomplish, and in a sense is a level of patience all on it's own. When a situation is completely out of your hands, or seemingly so, you can do nothing more other than watch it unfold. Worrying, pulling out your hair, embodying the Lord of the Rings, or any other hip fad movie for that matter will not help the situation. All it will do is deepen a hole of unhealthy habits you are building for yourself. Take a step back and just observe. Look within yourself to see why you're so worried, reevaluate your priorities, really look at the situation, yourself, and how it's affecting those around you.

Building Patience

The first step in building patience is to avoid situations where you feel overwhelmed all together. Like I mentioned in my post "Stress and Effectively Managing It" you should try to handle everything once, as soon as possible. Procrastinating is the worst thing you can do in most cases and often just leads to frustration and irritation. This is something that should be made a daily habit. Despite this, though, there are instances where things are just beyond on grasp and we have to handle those situations as they come our way. When this happens a good deal of patience is expected. Here are some exercises you can begin to use in order to develop that patience on day at a time.

1. Make An Effort - Take time out of your day everyday to consciously focus on being patient. Think before you speak or act. Make it your number one goal throughout the day. The more conscious effort you put forth to be patient, the more patient you will become.

2. Don't Cut Corners - Patience should be built upon with baby steps, and as such this is a very effective method of aiding you in that pursuit. Not cutting corners when you're walking from one place to another is a great first step. A lot of the time you will see people who aren't even in a rush, hurry across the grass, or take a "short cut," just because they can, or because it's "convenient." For a week or so watch yourself as you walk, or drive to your destinations throughout the day. Whenever you feel that urge to cut a corner for the sake of convenience, push yourself to take the long way around. Take your time and don't rush just to rush.

3. Abstain or Delay "Gratification" - The next time you feel that impulse to buy or eat that piece of cake, that bowl of ice cream, or anything else you would normally get along those same lines, take a step back and get or eat something else, if anything at all. Taking a step back and delaying what you typically do on a regular basis to "reward" yourself is a great way of exercising your self control and developing patience. Letting something wait for later can have huge benefits for your patience, as well as your health because you may avoid eating or doing something that you later realize wasn't in your best interest.

4. Meditation - Meditation is a great way to improve on patience. The core foundation of meditation is patience. Sitting or laying for extended periods of time doing different exercises or just focusing on relaxation is a very effective practice with benefits beyond that of developing patience.

5. Yoga - Yoga, similarly to meditation utilizes a series of breathing exercises; slow, fluid, and steady movements, as well as the holding of postures and/or stretches. It's done in a way that requires you to take your time and move in accordance with your breath. *see also: Tai Chi*

6. Learn to Expect the Unexpected - Often times we tend to make plans and then get our hearts set on that particular thing to go according to how we "planned" it. It doesn't always workout like this, however. Understanding this will enable you to step back and take things as they come so you never put yourself in that position whereby you feel at a loss of some kind.

Other Tips

There are a lot of different things you can do to help you develop patience. Even playing games like Sodoku, Solitaire, Chess, and like games are great methods to help you along your journey. The number one thing you can do, though, is to consciously work at it everyday. Be aware of yourself, your thoughts, and your actions. It's not the easiest thing in the world to develop patience but I assure you that if you work at it, it will pay off in the long run. Lack of patience has terrible affects on your life, from relationship issues to issues at the workplace or home. Make it your conscious effort to work at it as much as you can, but don't let patience be an excuse to procrastinate. This is a tip you will probably find most everywhere you see patience discussed, if not, it should be. Being patient is great, but putting something off and calling it "waiting" is doing nothing but bringing you back. The only person you're fooling is yourself. Remember that Acting is one of the first steps you need to take in understanding yourself and handling things early on, which in turn helps you develop your patience and tolerance.

Stress is one of the major direct, and indirect causes of death, especially today in our trying economic times plagued with war and financial crisis. Stress can not only have extremely harmful effects on your body, but it seriously affects your mind and spiritual well being as well. The worst part about it is that people don't realize how easy it is to manage. Stress is such a regular thing in our lives that it can become almost addictive in nature. There are those who thrive in such an environment, where stress is always dominate and because they aren't use to not having it, don't know how to function without it.

Despite this, stress is and will have negative affects on you and your life over time. However, don't fall under the impression that all stress is negative. When we are in danger we experience the infamous "Fight or Flight" response due to the stressful situation. So even though stress is very harmful to your health, there are times when it is an extremely vital tool for our survival. Although, these situations are not taking place every waking moment of our lives, and we shouldn't allow ourselves to be set back physically or spiritually due to an unpaid bill, or because we didn't get the good seats at the movie theater. Fear not though, because there are numerous ways to deal with the stress we seem to experience day in and day out.

An Introduction to Stress

What IS Stress? Stress is just your bodies way of reacting to any kind of demand it faces. Be that emotional or physical. When you are stressed your body releases chemicals allowing for greater focus, energy, and strength. This can be extremely effective for those in sports, or working out. However, when you are trying to write a ten page paper for class due the next morning, all of that energy and strength isn't going to help you, and what could have been helpful just turns into frustration.

The Major Causes of Stress

The Environment - Your environment can have a negative impact on you causing stress. If your day in and day out environment is dangerous and you feel uncomfortable, it's overly crowded, hot, or cold, if it's too loud or it's not conducive to your work or schooling activities it can be a serious factor in the amount of stress you experience daily.

Yourself - We are often our biggest stressors. A lot of times we, as my mother would so eloquently put it "watch the hammer fall." Due to our up bringing and the experiences we've had in our lives, it's not uncommon for people who are completely content to allow their minds to wander into all of the negative things that COULD happen. What if this goes wrong, or what if this doesn't do that. In doing so we create stress within us that doesn't need to be there. By criticizing and scrutinizing every incremental detail of everything, and searching for the negative we put our selves in positions we never wanted to be in. The very situations we were hoping to avoid in the first place.

Survival - This is where that "Fight or Flight" comes into play. If you've ever been into a life threatening situation you know what I'm talking about. When you feel as though your life is being threatened or you're in any form of danger your body immediately reacts by dosing you with enough adrenalin for you to either flea the scene all together, or for you to have the strength to defend yourself at that moment. This form of stress often leaves people somewhat restless, nauseous, or just shaky after the occurrence.

Other People - This usually goes hand in hand with your environment, but not always. The people in your life are often times major stressors, despite how much we may or may not care for them. Abusive people, emotional or physical, should not be around you. Anyone who isn't supportive to your mental or physical well-being can be an extreme stressor. This doesn't mean get rid of everyone who brings stress into your life, it just means that you should monitor the affects people have on you and choose when you feel you can tolerate it. For instance, if you aren't feeling well it wouldn't be the best idea to go around someone you can't stand. Besides, getting rid of everyone who stresses you out would be terrible news for children across the nation.

Work and Fatigue - This is one of the more obvious and relateable factors. Unless you love your job with an undying passion, work at times can be the most stressful and irritating things in the world. It makes you tired, and it's a regular routine most people just can't get out of. When you are fatigued you are more likely to be irritable resulting in more frustration and thus more stress. Finding happiness in the workplace is one of the most important things you can do for your life, but it's not always one of the easiest.

The Negative Effects of Stress

On Your Body: Constant stress eats away at you by lowering your ability to fight off sickness. It can cause and make you more susceptible to headaches, muscle pains/chest pains, heart disease, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, stomach aches and pains, and sleep problems. Just to name a few possible effects.

On Your Mental Health: High levels of stress can result in anxiety, insecurities, restlessness, depression, frustration, anger, irritability, worrying, as well as an increased difficulty in maintaining focus.

Your Behavioral Habits: Stress can cause you to over or under-react to a situation by down playing serious events due to feeling overwhelmed, or snapping at trivial things due to frustration. It can cause angry outbursts, drug and/or alcohol abuse, relationship issues, or social withdrawal.

Spiritual: Increased levels of stress has very negative effects on us spiritually. It can sometimes lead us to doubt, question, or put aside our spiritual beliefs or practices because we feel too overwhelmed and just "don't want to deal" with it, or don't feel we have the time to acknowledge them.

Managing Your Stress

Dealing with stress isn't as difficult as people make it out to be. The first step dealing with your stress is catching it before it evolves into a serious problem. When I was in training with the Red Cross a few years ago, I attended a seminar with a motivational speaker. I cannot remember his name but his residual message stuck with me. "Handle it once" was something he said often, it was his entire focal point during his speech, and how procrastination leads you down roads you never want to be down. It results in things like being overwhelmed and overly stressed. I would advise anyone reading this to take that into consideration. When something comes up, handle it right then and there, don't put it off until later. The sooner you handle something the less you have to be concerned with it.

Stress Management Techniques

1. Meditation - Meditation can be an extremely useful tool when it comes to managing your stress. If you don't think you have enough time to meditate I would advise you look into Mindfulness Meditation techniques. But the most simple form of meditation you can do on a moments notice is to breathe. Breathing is the one thing we neglect all the time, without fail. Unless you are suffering from some form of breathing disorder, each breath you take usually goes unnoticed. If you find yourself to be extremely stressed out, take a moment or two out of your day to take a few deep breaths. Follow the breath in, and out. I would suggest in through the nose and out through the mouth, but do what feels comfortable. Just sit like this for awhile, and breathe out all the negativity. When you're done you'll feel a whole lot more refreshed.

2. Exercise - Exercising regularly does wonders for stress reduction. It not only makes you healthier and supplies you with often times, much needed energy, but it increases the amount of endorphins you experience. Exercise is also said to have a link to the Dopamine levels in your blood. Dopamine is your "feel good" chemical. It's the same chemical that is released during the peak of orgasm, or why you feel that quenched satisfaction when you bite into that fresh piece of cake. Wow, cake and exercise... You see my point, however. Exercise can be overall very beneficial for you, and the surgeon general currently recommends a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise everyday for optimal health and vitality. For more information on exercise or healthy living see This Post.

3. Eating Healthy -Maintaining a healthy diet is a vital part of keeping a healthy lifestyle in general. Eating excess red meats, or junk food like that wonderful cake from the above suggestion can have harmful effects on your health. A healthy body and mind helps you feel better on a day in and day out basis, thus giving you more room to "breathe" in a sense. Feeling good about yourself is a great way to stop stress in it's tracks, and as such, eating healthy should become a regular thing for you, or at least something you try to accomplish every day. Think twice before you take a pleasant car ride through that drive through next time!

4. Yoga - Yoga is a common stress reduction technique. It's a great method for relaxation and empowers you with energy and a sensation of an inner calm. I understand that not everyone believes they have the time for such things, but basic stretching everyday will do great things for you as well. Take 10 - 14 minutes out of your day to just stretch and loosen up. If you're feeling really stressed take a breather and do some light stretching. It's a really great aid and something you can do almost anywhere. If you are seeking more information on Yoga you can visit AnmolMetha - Mastery of Meditation. Yoga & Zen. It's a very large resource on yoga and like topics that I was lucky enough to be featured in.

5. Counting - This could easily fall under the category of meditation, but it's something that's taught completely separately at a lot of different places. Counting backwards from 10 - 1 is one of the oldest tricks in the book. It distracts you from whatever is going on at that present moment and gives you the time to settle down before acting, or reacting to a situation. I personally don't find counting from 10 - 1 as effective as let's say, 20 - 10. It has something to do with routines and what you're use to. For me 10 - 1 is just too common and takes little thought so it doesn't distract me enough as a different set of numbers. Do what you feel comfortable, but it's a great tool to have in your stress fighting arsenal.

6. Get Enough Sleep - Yes, getting enough sleep is something most don't experience. The average working American citizen gets between 6 - 7 hours of sleep a night. The recommended amount of sleep is 8 - 9 hours, although depending on your source it may be from 7 - 9 hours. Either way, ensure that you are getting adequate sleep. Being well rested gives you a jump start on your day. You will be more energized and willing to engage in what comes your way. Not getting enough sleep and being fatigued all day is just leaving yourself wide open for minor annoyances, and being sluggish means you will be less likely able to handle a situation efficiently on the spot that may prove to be stressful.

Conclusion

These are just some of the main ways you can reduce or eliminate stress from your life entirely. There are many other methods out there, such as listening to music, engaging in more healthy social situations, reading, writing it out, hobbies, sports, etc... Do what works best for you, but do something. Stress is just one of those things we are forced to encounter during our lives, but just because situations that seem stressful arise, doesn't mean we have to fall victim to it. We have control over what we allow to "stress us out" and what we do not, with that being said, stress shouldn't be an issue in any way, shape, or form. These are some tools to get you started on your way, and I wish you the best of luck.